Get Pregnant FAST!

It sounds easy enough - you decide you want to become pregnant so you get off birth control, do the deed, and poof!  You should be sporting a baby bump in no time right?  Well, not always.  Even young, healthy couples can have a little trouble getting pregnant and that's perfectly normal!  In fact, the average time it takes to conceive is six month for women under 35, and those same women would not need to consider consulting with a doctor until they've tried for a year.  For women over the age of 35 the rules change a bit and a doctor would probably need to be called by the six month mark or sooner if their menstrual cycle isn't "normal". 

First things first - HEALTH!  It's important to get a full physical including an exam with your OBGYN prior to trying to conceive.  Why?  Because if you have any sort of illness or disease it should be addressed because most medications and treatments cannot be given while pregnant.  Not only that, poor health in general can negatively affect your chances of getting pregnant.  Don't forget!  The man's health is just as important so I would suggest staying away from smoking, drinking, and doing drugs in addition to eating a healthy diet for a minimum of three months prior to trying to conceive.  The sperm that fertilizes the egg is usually around 60-90 days old and you want that sperm to be as strong and healthy as it can be to do its job!  Obviously, the same goes for the woman.  In fact, I would strongly suggest taking a prenatal vitamin at least three months prior to trying to conceive in order for the body to have had the time to absorb folic acid and other necessary vitamins and nutrients to conceive a healthy child.  Not to mention that drinking, smoking, and drugs do adversely affect fertility and will harm the fetus should you conceive.  For more information on foods that can help boost fertility, click here for men and here for women.

Next, OVULATION.  For the average woman she will most likely ovulate around day 14 which is the halfway point in her cycle; but that doesn't mean that this rings true for all women.  The best way to know for sure is to track ovulation by using an ovulation kit (opk).  Now, if you're not too worried about getting pregnant THAT fast or if money is an issue, there are some free apps out there that can help you guess a little better.  In fact, I used a few apps and I got pregnant on the first try so my daughter is proof that it can work, haha!  I would never recommend this to anyone having issues trying to conceive - only for those casually trying or taking their time.  Speaking of ovulation, it's important to know that a women's egg only survives for about 24 hours, while sperm can live up to five days!  That's why it's very important to start having sex at least two to three days prior to ovulation to maximize your chances of getting pregnant.  Now, if you're really unsure on when you're ovulating because apps aren't reliable and ovulation kits are too expensive, I would suggest having sex three times a week every week - your partner will love this piece of advice, haha!

Last but certainly not least, have SEX!!  Sounds logical, right?  Right, but it's important to have sex in positions where gravity will help you get pregnant such as missionary where the man is on top and the woman is on the bottom.  Any position that will help get the sperm closer to your egg is the most beneficial and having gravity on your side will help you successfully conceive in record time!  Plus, these positions help keep the sperm inside of the vagina longer which is what you want.  I would actually suggest for the woman to lay on her back right after ejaculation with a pillow under her hips for about 30 minutes to encourage sperm to do its job and prevent sperm from leaking out.  I also suggest you have fun and enjoy sex because studies have shown that if a man has a "better" orgasm that his sperm count could be higher, and if a women orgasms during or right after the man ejaculates the spasmic movements of orgasm will help pull the sperm into the uterus.

So, if you're trying to conceive I hope these tips have helped you and that you will be getting a "Pregnant" or "Plus sign" on that little stick you get to pee on soon!  And remember, when testing for a possible pregnancy always use your first urine of the day because it's the most potent and will give you the most accurate read.  Now stop reading and go have sex!!  Enjoy!  ;)

Feeling Blessed

How cliche.....the end of the year is here and I am reflecting; but it only seems natural to look back so here goes.  The first thought that pops into my head is how blessed I am.  I feel so incredibly blessed that I was able to get pregnant, have a relatively easy pregnancy, and carry my baby to term.  And by term, I mean PLUS TEN DAYS, lol!  That stubborn girl was a little too content in my womb so a little Pitocin had to evict her.  Moving along, I feel blessed that although my recovery was rough, I'm grateful that it wasn't worse because it easily could've been.  I'm grateful that I was able to push through and make nursing/pumping a success because it took a lot of work which is something I wasn't prepared for.  Although I had learned about the trials and tribulations that can come along with breastfeeding I think I had assumed that I'd somehow be exempt since I had educated myself - boy was I wrong!  But the important thing is I didn't give up when I wanted to many, many, MANY times and here I am nearly a year later and for that I am so thankful.  

Most importantly, I'm grateful for my beautiful little family.  My daughter is the light of my life and my love grows for her daily.  Watching her grow from this tiny newborn into this gorgeous, spunky, and funny little girl has been life changing for me.  Motherhood is the hardest thing in the world but the most rewarding and for that I am grateful.  Included in my little family is my unbelievable husband.  I cannot even begin to explain how unbelievably blessed I am to be able to call him my husband and father to my child.  He provides me with so much unconditional love and support that I couldn't ask for anything more.  He makes me feel beautiful even when I'm hooked up to a pump - true story.  And you know what?  I think he means it!  He supported me and took care of me when I was unable to after the birth of our daughter and completely stepped up to the plate.  He did everything for the baby so that all I had to do was nurse her and even during that he'd stay close to me, rub my back, told me how much he loved me, he'd bring me food and water - he blew me away.  Even though he had to get up for work at 5am he'd still get up in the middle of the night with the baby no matter how much I told him not to.  He made sure that I knew that if I needed to quit breastfeeding for any reason that I shouldn't feel guilty and that he supported whatever decision I made - I think that alone is what made it possible for me to continue.  Just knowing that he had my back no matter what and that there wasn't any pressure made me feel like I could at least give it a shot.  He's been there for me through thick and thin and I know that no matter what happens I can always count on him.  He's also an amazing hands-on father who never misses our bedtime routine with the baby (he's the official bath giver).  He wants to be part of all of our daughter's "firsts" and is very involved with the choices we make in parenting her.  In my husband I have a real partner who provides me with everything I could ever ask for and more.  He fulfills me in every way possible and I feel beyond blessed.  I think that being with someone who respects who you are and loves you for you (flaws and all) without judgement is the true meaning of love.  This is the foundation of our marriage and it has made the transition into being parents seamless.  Children will of course change a marriage but if the marriage is strong then I believe it will change for the better.  Watching my husband become a father (and a great one at that) has made me fall so much deeper in love with him than I ever expected.  

Well, now that I've turned this blog into mush I think it's time to wrap it up!  So here's to a very happy and healthy New Year to all of you!!  Cheers!

Multitasking Mama....Pump-errific!

OMG, I've turned into the lady in the picture I've made fun of numerous times that advertises the hands-free pumping bra who looks like she's having the time of her life, haha!!  You know, where the lady is pumping and typing on her laptop at the same time??  (See picture below)  That's me at this very moment!  Well, minus that ridiculously flat stomach - super annoying, haha.  Currently my ten month old is having a ball playing in her play yard while I'm pumping.  Sometimes I stay in the room with her during this time (I only leave her when I'm confident she's in the mood to play independently) but right now she's laughing, squealing, and having a blast!  So, off to my bedroom I go to pump and blog all at the same time, hehe! 

I do NOT get paid by Medela (or anyone else for that matter, haha) but I have to say that if it weren't for this genius invention I never would have made it this far into exclusively pumping.  I nursed and pumped since my daughter was born and then she turned four months old and literally weaned herself - cold turkey!  We had one last, beautiful and amazing nursing session (perfect latch, full feed, fell asleep in my arms afterwards) and after that never wanted to nurse again.  Since I wanted her to continue to have breast milk I decided I'd commit myself to exclusively pump and here I am months later.  It's been difficult at times but completely worth it.  Anyone who tells you breastfeeding/pumping is easy (at least in the beginning) is either lying, in denial, suffering from amnesia, or is a freak of nature, haha!  Of course it gets easier, but it's not what some people try to make it out to be, let's get real.  But like I said, it's completely worth it.  

Anyway, if you're looking for a pump that will make it as easy as it can possibly get, you won't regret purchasing (or renting) the Medela Freestyle.  But don't forget to buy the hands-free pumping Bra because it's a MUST!!  The attachments that are included with your pump that hook to your nursing bra are impossible to figure out and don't work as well so shell out the extra $35 - it's worth it's weight in gold and then some!   You can get the bra online or at Babies R Us (I'm sure other places sell it, too, but that's where I've seen it) and it comes as a strapless or a halter - I didn't believe the strapless would work but as long as you have the right size that's tight enough it works perfectly.  A few different companies make similar versions of the bra but here's the link if you want to check out the Medela Easy Expression ™ Bustier .  

I suggest you buy the pump at Babies R Us ONLY when they are on sale or they offer a good coupon for it because it's the most expensive pump and you want to save as much money as you can.  Also, I have nothing but great things to say about the customer service at Medela - they will gladly replace your pump at no cost to you (they send you a prepaid shipping label and you can use the box they used to send you a new one) and it usually arrives at your door within a day or two which limits your down time.  If you want to read more about the pump just click here.

I just finished pumping so off I go to play with my little princess!  In a few hours my pump and I will meet again, haha.  Happy pumping to you!  ;)

Sleeping Through the Night

The dreaded "sleeping through the night" topic!  The issue that has some parents begging their kids for mercy because they've turned into zombies who are losing their minds!  Well, I'm here to tell you that "this too shall pass" and it WILL get better!  Easy for me to say, right?  I know, I know, but I really mean it, I swear! 

Before we get things started, I just want to let you know that you can't teach or force a baby to sleep - all you can do is create an environment that will help aide your child in learning how to gain the tools in order to do it on their own.  Also, please forget about all of those myths like giving your child rice cereal in a bottle.  Not only does it not work (does stuffing yourself make you sleep?), but it's not nutritionally sound and can be a potential choking hazard.  For now, I'll start with the basics in order to allow you to get a general idea of what is needed for you to get your treasured beauty sleep again. 

Ok, now onto the good stuff.  In order for your child to develop good sleeping habits, it all starts the moment the day begins.  I've seen a lot of parents wonder why their child doesn't nap or sleep through the night, yet proceed to tell me how unpredictable their child's day is, how overstimulated the child is on a daily basis (i.e. busy schedule) and that they don't have any schedule set in place;  that's the first clue.  So first things first, create a realistic and predictable schedule.  Babies thrive on routine and that's also a way for them to build trust (crucial in child development).  How do you create a routine?  Become an observer and take note of when your child naturally wants to eat, play and sleep and do your best to work around that.  In addition, you'll need to minimize the outings you take until a routine has been set.  In this crazy world that can be a hard commitment to make so modify it (please don't modify unless absolutely necessary prior to the routine/schedule is established); go out when your child has napped and limit the amount of time you're gone.  Once a routine is set, they become more relaxed because they know what to expect and that creates a safe environment for them.  They will also use certain cues to know what's coming next and will gladly be a willing participant in the routine you have created together.  For example, my daughter knows that when I shut the blinds and put on her white noise machine that nap time is coming - she'll even sign the word for "sleep".  I also make sure to tell her verbally that it's time for a nap and that I love her.  Speaking of naps, it's important to know that taking good naps throughout the day is vital for a child to be able to not only sleep through the night, but get a GOOD sleep. In addition, the pace of the day is important.  If you rush through all of those important moments like feeding, diapering, bathing and changing, your child will feel uneasy.  The more present you are in these moments the more trust you will create.  From the day my daughter was born my husband and I made sure to prepare her for everything by becoming "narrators".  For example, I might say "Mommy is going to put you on the changing table now.  Ready?  Ok, it's time to change your diaper now.  Should we take off your pajamas first?  Yes?  Ok, can you help mommy take out your leg?  Thank you.  How about the other leg?  Thank you.", and so on and so on.  We make sure that she plays a role in everything that we do so she doesn't feel "assaulted".  If you think about it, how insecure and uneasy would you feel if you were in a position where you couldn't do anything for yourself and the person caring for you rushed through everything without warning you and making you feel as if you had no control over what was being done to your body? 

The next step is to recognize when your child is tired.  A very young infant usually can't go more than one to two hours of awake time before needing a nap again.  A general rule of thumb is eat, play, sleep and repeat.  As they get older their awake time lengthens, and if you pay attention they'll give you clues on when they're ready for that.  If you pass the point of tired and enter the "overtired zone" then you're both in trouble and no one will be getting sleep.  A clear sign would be rubbing their eyes, red rimmed eyes, yawning, closing their eyes, or becoming cranky. 

Next would be making sure to put your baby to bed drowsy or awake for two reasons - they need to be able to fall asleep without your help (remember, they've been doing it since they were in the womb so they are capable), and also because if they wake up in a different place than where they fell asleep they will become scared or disoriented.  Again, it's always important to build trust with babies because that's the only way they will build a healthy attachment to you.  I would suggest, at least until a healthy sleeping pattern has been established, that you put your child to bed in their crib for every single nap and at night.  Again, this is to establish predictability and routine, as well as making a place for your child of their own.  I strongly recommend that your child not be put in their crib or bed as a punishment because that will create a negative feeling attached with the very place you want your child to sleep in comfortably through the night.  My daughter is never put in her crib for any reason other than sleep.  I remember one time I put her in there out of necessity to vacuum and she couldn't stop giggling because she knew it wasn't time to sleep and she thought it was hilarious that she could just "play" in her crib.  I thought that was very telling, and of course, very cute. 

A key to sleeping through the night is to set a bedtime routine.  No matter what you decide your routine to be, stick to it and make it calm, pleasant, and relaxing.  You can't expect to have a crazy dance party and have your child go to sleep without winding down first.  Remember, your babies pick up on your energy so if you're uptight or rushed your baby will follow your lead and bedtime will become a nightmare.  If you move slowly and with purpose your baby will follow your lead in a positive way and you'll be one step closer to a restful night for everyone.  A great example of a bedtime routine would begin with a warm bath and allow your child (if older) to play as they wish.  My daughter loves going to town with a simple wash cloth and that's enough for her.  Sometimes she likes standard bath toys but it's usually that washcloth, haha.  Since using soap daily can be drying to the skin you can just use water only except on the days it's needed - just make sure to still clean their little hands, feet, and private area.  After the bath, a good idea would be to give your baby a massage with a gentle lotion (I suggest diapering first, haha).  Next pajamas, a short and calm bedtime story followed by a bottle/sippy cup with breast milk/formula or nurse your baby until they have had a full feed.  Once your baby is finished drinking you can have one last good cuddle and then it's time to put your baby in bed, say your good night and let them know you'll see them in the morning. It's important to point out that your child should be in bed no later than 8pm (unless your child is a newborn) because if they go to bed too late they will be overtired and not sleep well which leads to them waking up early the next morning (or worse, waking up in the middle of the night repeatedly). 

Ok, now I know what you're thinking, what about "the method"??  How do I get my child to stay in their crib and stay asleep through the night?  Trust me, if you truly create a calm, predictable routine for your child everything else will fall into place.  There is some sort of "method" you can use if you still run into some difficulty or resistance which I will discuss in a follow-up blog.  I felt that it was important to first attack the "disease" and not the "symptom" because once your foundation is set everything else is a cake walk.  Below I've included the actual schedule my daughter is currently on and it's one I've based on her needs by observation - it works very well for us and I couldn't imagine life any other way.  She's happy and so are we!  Best of luck to all of you and your families!  Please feel free to comment/ask questions below.

Here is what an average day looks like for my ten month old:

7:45 - She wakes up, gets a diaper change and drinks a sippy cup of pumped breast milk (5 oz)

8:00 - Plays independently in play yard while I pump in the room next door (monitor is on so I can see/hear what's going on in case of an emergency)

8:30 - Bring her downstairs to play with me in a gated off and safe area for her in the living room.

9:00 - We both eat breakfast

9:30 - We go for a walk with the dog around the neighborhood

9:55 - Return home and another diaper change

10:00 -Nap

11:30-Noon (some days vary on how long her nap is) - She wakes up and has another sippy cup of pumped breast milk (5 oz)

12:30 -  Plays independently in play yard while I pump in the room next door (monitor is on in case of an emergency)

1:00 - We both eat lunch

1:30 - We play together and I read her books, sing songs with her, and dance.  I also give her time to play independently and sometimes we go for another walk

2:30 - Sippy cup of pumped breast milk (5 oz)

3:45 - Diaper change

4:00 - Nap (I usually pump sometime during this nap)

5:30-5:45 - Wake up from nap and has a sippy cup of pumped breast milk (5 oz)

6:00 - Plays independently while I prepare dinner (if I'm cooking a full meal that takes more time I will do most of the work during her afternoon nap)

6:30 - We eat dinner as a family

7:00 - Family time - we play, sing, dance and have fun!

7:30 - Bedtime routine (bath, massage, book)

7:45- Sippy cup with pumped breast milk (6 oz) and Bedtime!

Please note that I'm not a doctor - this is my opinion  based on experience I have as a preschool teacher, mom, and nanny.  I've been heavily influenced by the amazing classes I took in college which exposed me to the philosophies and principles of R.I.E. that provide the foundation for my parenting style.  If you're wondering, R.I.E. stands for Resources for Infant Educarers.  If you'd like to find out more, please visit their website www.rie.org

Rules

Rules??  Rules in a blog?  Yes!  One simple one - NO GUILT!  What do I mean by that?  Well, almost every single mommy has experienced some form of the dreaded "mommy guilt" that we so readily put on ourselves about what we've done, haven't done, or will do in regards to parenting.  My whole purpose for starting "Mama Knows" is to offer up what I know from the past decade of experience and education, but most importantly based on what I've seen work with my own daughter who is currently ten months old.  Please know that no matter what subject I discuss it's important to not take anything personally if you disagree or feel any guilt if you do agree and regret what you have or haven't done.  Let's make a pact right now that what you take from my blog is positive - whether it confirms your already set beliefs, opens your eyes to a new way, or just sparks something in you you didn't know was there.  No matter what method you choose to parent by, remember, LOVE will always be the most important component.  There are many different routes you can take to create a healthy and happy child; I'm offering one that I've seen work and I'm hoping you can benefit even in the slightest way.  If I can accomplish that, I'll feel as if this was all worth it. 

Now that we have that out of the way, let the blogging (officially) begin!!  First blog that will be up by tomorrow will focus on sleeping through the night! 

Hello, Gorgeous!

Are you a mommy?  Are you a wanna-be mommy? Are you a girl who just wants to relate to someone who's been there and needs a little pick-me-up?  Good!  Because I'm a mommy and I'm a girl who's been there!  ;)

If you follow my blog you will be taken on a journey of all things baby, make-up, boys, hot topics and FUN!  I have a lot to share and I'm so excited to share it with YOU!

Now I know what you're thinking, "And who are you??".  Hehe, well, that will come with time.  I thought about doing a blog about who I am and where I've come from but it seems pointless right now.  You'll just have to get to know me the old fashioned way, through the ummm.....errrrr....internet?  That'll work!  

Well, here we go!  The blogging has officially begun!  Get ready to find out exactly what "Mama Knows" and feel free to ask/comment away!